


Silent As A Scream

by rosesofred



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Corporal Punishment, Discipline, Doctor - Freeform, Domestic Discipline, F/M, Family, Hard of Hearing, HoH, Hurt/Comfort, Medbay, Niece, Non-Sexual, OTK, Over the Knee, PTSD, Parental - Freeform, Past Abuse, Restraints, Spanking, UNCLE - Freeform, Uncle Leonard, hearing aid, hearing loss, past self harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-18
Updated: 2020-12-18
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:34:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28150941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosesofred/pseuds/rosesofred
Summary: Ensign Miller has made it onto the 5-year mission aboard the USS Enterprise in hopes of sanctuary from Earth. She appears to be a fully human girl and has passed every test, exam, and transcript it took to get into space. Until one tiny detail was overlooked and her identity was uncovered for everyone to see, her metaphorical world being overturned for the billionth time. After years of blood, sweat, and tears to reach the stars, will it come crumbling down around her? Or will she be able to set her roots again, right there on the Enterprise with the people whose dreams and will to survive are just as strong as hers?
Comments: 1
Kudos: 7





	Silent As A Scream

**Author's Note:**

> ;-; Guess who had to get a hearing aid? I've been learning ASL as fast as humanly possible as I'm now officially "hard of hearing" and have lost most hearing in my left ear. This story is really just for me tbh, so I don't know when I'll be updating but it felt cathartic to write and I realised I really enjoyed writing about someone with hearing troubles since that's something I've got to deal with now, hurray.
> 
> -Italics are going to be when people sign to each other but for the sake of making the story flow and it being easier to read I'm going to use English grammar. ASL has its own set of grammar and rules but it would look real weird if I wrote it out that way.

The ringing in my ears hit harder than the bells of Notre Dame, shaking my delicately balanced idea of sanity as I sucked in air. Another nightmare, another sleepless night. I reached over to my nightstand to grab my hearing aid when alarm sprang through my body like a tight fist gripping my heart as my arm wouldn’t budge. The blinding light was almost too much to see but I forced my eyes open, acclimating as fast as I could to look at my surroundings and rip my arm free of this invisible restraint. This wasn’t my room, I wasn’t lying in my messy bed with the pillow behind my back the way I liked, it was an entirely different setting. People bustled around me, their sounds muffled and muted but not entirely silent as I couldn’t make out what was happening. The monitor beside my bed and gown I’d been changed into finally clicked in my head and I swallowed hard, fear still pulsating through my head as I tried to steady my breathing.

I sat up in the bed, looking around to make sure no one was watching before trying to free my arms from the restraints again, straining with the effort. The veins on my forearms stuck out with the effort but I kept yanking, pulling and tearing like a rabbit caught in a trap until something startled me out of my focus. A large hand rested on my arm and I looked up, my heart dropping at seeing the familiar face of one Dr. Leonard McCoy. He didn’t look pleased in the slightest, his lips tight in a restrained scowl and body tense as he moved again, his hands going to the side of my head. I jerked away at the feeling of his hands on my ear but he gave me a stern look, his eyebrows raising and I swallowed with apprehension, allowing him to carry on. I felt him slip something into my ear, wrapping it around the outside and he stepped back, using his med padd to program what he’d just attached to me. “You should be able to hear my voice now.” I stared at him blankly, dread setting in at the realisation of it all. “A response would be nice if you can hear me kiddo.”

I turned my head back to stare at the bed, clenching my hands into fists around the blanket. “I can hear you.”

“Great. Cuz you’ve got a hell of a lot of explaining to do.” He folded his arms the way he always does when he’s mad, fixing me with one of his signature staredowns when I remained quiet. “I can wait all day if I have to Nell, you’re not getting out of this.”

My blood ran cold at hearing my old name, the feeling of an entire world I’d left behind tumbling back onto my shoulders. He’d recognised me, or found out my identity, which meant the scrambler had stopped working or that something had gone wrong. Whatever happened I couldn’t quite remember but this wasn’t good either way. “It’s complicated,” I muttered, trying the restraints again.

He half snorted, probably having heard that exact phrase from patients too many times to count. When I yanked hard enough to feel it cut into my wrist I felt him grab the restrain, pulling it down and tighter against the bed. “Will you stop that? You’re gonna cut the circulation off to your hands.”

“Why am I restrained?” I looked him in the eyes, my own filled with resentment and cold indifference.

“Because I can’t trust you to stay put, that’s why. Now you better start telling me what in the hell happened or else-” he paused, his finger pointing at me accusingly.

“Or else what?” I bit back, daring him to try.

He narrowed his eyes at me, grunting in his way of controlled irritation. “From the beginning. Now.”

“Let me go first.”

Dr. McCoy rolled his eyes, rubbing his face with his hand tiredly. “I can’t do that.”

“Then I guess I can’t explain.”

“Oh for the love of-” he looked around the medbay, hoping to find some kind of miracle for stubborn patients- “listen, I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what in the hell is going on. So if you don’t want to end up in the brig then you better start telling me quick so I can do something.”

I bit my lip, weighing my options and what would be harder to bear; telling him or being court martialed and becoming a prisoner?

After a long moment he sighed, looking down at his med padd as he punched something in. “I guess I’ll have to send you back to Earth.”

“NO!” My objection caught the attention of nearly every person in the medbay and I looked away, embarrassed by the sudden spotlight. I felt myself begin to tremble at the thought of returning to that terrible place and couldn’t help it, hating the reaction my body had. My voice cracked slightly as I whispered, “Please don’t.”

The doctor moved closer to the bed, setting the padd down near the screen as he tried to calm me. “I’m not sending you back to Earth Nell. Hey look at me kid, I don’t know what happened but you’re not going back, alright?”

My breathing came in shallow gasps, the tears pricking at my eyes in the most obnoxious way but I nodded in understanding.

He looked into my eyes for a moment longer before deciding something, moving to undo the restraints around my wrists as I watched in surprise. “Don’t make me regret this.” When my hands were free he helped me out of the exam bed, leading me through the medbay as if I couldn’t walk without assistance. I tried to tug slightly out of his grasp but he steered me quickly without hesitation through the area and down a hallway until we reached a strangely decorated room and he pushed me inside, the door closing swiftly behind us. He pointed to a perfectly clean white loveseat, his voice more of a bark than a request. “Sit.”

Everything was moving so fast, I didn’t know what to make of it, of any of this mess really. Would I be sent back to Earth, made a prisoner, or possibly stranded on the nearest alien planet?

Dr. McCoy pulled out the chair behind his pristine mahogany desk, sitting down with a hint of exhaustion as he leaned forward and looked at me. “Start talking.”

I rubbed at my wrists, still feeling the restraints cutting in and trying to put it out of my head. “I don’t know where to begin.”

“Alright I’ll start. How ‘bout you tell me where you got illegal cybernetic enhancements?”

“They’re not illegal.”

“Yours are.”

I huffed, staring at my feet and wishing they’d given me more than a barely modest exam gown to wear. “I did them myself.”

“You telling me that you-” he stopped a moment, not believing what I’d told him- “you operated on yourself?”

“Kind of. I had help for some of it.”

“Oh good, what did you pay the guy down the street to hold your tools for you while you operated?”

“Pretty much.”

He stiffened in shock, then grew angry when he realised I was serious. “Are you out of your damn mind? Nell! Did you even know him?”

“No.”

“Oh for the love of-” my hearing aid crackled a bit and I didn’t catch the end of what he muttered but I could only imagine it wasn’t great. “You have any idea how stupid that is?” I didn’t answer him, my shoulders tightening as the room grew more tense. “Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t just put you over my knee right here.”

My head snapped up to look at him, eyes wide as I comprehended the words he’d just uttered. I opened my mouth to answer but nothing came out, I didn’t know how to respond in a way that made sense. All I could do was stare at him with my mouth hanging open like a dumb fish as he sat there with that fixed scowl and furrowed brows that had become a bit of a signature for him.

“Well?”

“I’m too old!”

“You could have fooled me with that attitude.”

“You can’t do this!” I stood up, my heart pounding in my chest. “You have no authority, we’re not on Earth!”

He rose to his feet, the very picture of what I accused him of lacking. “Sit down Ensign, that’s an order!” I hesitated, my hands twitching as I’d almost moved to comply instinctively. “Would you rather be court martialed by Starfleet? Is that what you want?” I stared at him with anger in my eyes, anger at my situation, at Earth, at life, at existence, and I didn’t move. “Fine.” He took quick meaningful steps across the small room until he reached me and I found myself turned swiftly to the side so fast I could barely process the movement.

“Ahh!” I squeaked in surprise as three sharp swats landed on my upper thighs and I lifted my leg to move away.

“Now sit down.”

I backed up into the couch the moment I felt my arm free from his hand, hating every fiber in my body for complying as I lowered myself back down into the white cushions. “Now as far as I can see it you have two options. Either you can let Starfleet deal with your discipline or you can let me handle it. Either way you’re facing the consequences of your actions so I suggest you choose wisely.” He stood like a looming statue above me, arms folded with that doctor’s determination and resolute frown I remembered so well.

My throat felt dry as I stared at his hands, too nervous to look him in the eyes again. “I-I don’t want Starfleet to do it. I don’t want to go back.”

“Good choice.”

There was another long silence as I worried the end of my medical gown, staring down at it with all my focus. “What about the captain? Doesn’t he already know about everything?”

“Not entirely. You’ll still need to be officially reprimanded, a report needs to be filed and I’ll be speaking to Kirk about this.”

“But-”

“I don’t think so young lady, you’re not getting out of it just because you don’t like your consequences. Besides, the captain’s more understanding than you’d think.”

It was silent for a moment more until I nodded my head, exhaling shakily. “Wh-” I cleared my throat, wetting my dry lips. “What happens now?”

The doctor’s expression seemed to soften a bit as he looked at me, his weight shifting slightly as he thought. “You know the drill Nell, it hasn’t been that long since you’ve been over my knee. Come on, up you get.”

A blush crept up my neck and I froze, wishing for everything to stop so I wouldn’t have to continue this one particularly terrible moment in time. But then would it be worse to wait for it forever, or better to just get it over and done with? “Please-” I sounded whiny even to myself and cringed as I felt just like the small girl that I’m sure he remembered me as.

“Up.”

I groaned softly but got to my feet, moving aside as he took the seat I’d just occupied, spreading his legs slightly so I could lay across. He looked at me expectantly, waiting for me to move to his side like I was supposed to but my legs just wouldn’t go. My eyes darted to his, chewing on my lower lip as anxiety filled my stomach in a knot. “Please Uncle Leonard,” I gave in, hoping my plea would have some kind of effect.

“Now darling I don’t want to hear it, you know what you did was stupid and reckless. You coulda been killed and I’m sure you’ve been doing this for a while.” He held a warning finger up to me, pointing with sincerity. “It stops now, you understand me? I don’t want to see you kill yourself over something like that.”

“But- I-” I couldn’t find any way to explain myself, to get out of my mess, and I huffed with frustration. Uncle Leonard gave a small snort and offered a hand to me, a way to help me into it. I shifted from foot to foot, hating the idea of being forced over his lap but also unable to do it myself. I just couldn’t willingly give in to something so childish, not now, not after I’d made it all the way here and gained my independence with tears and sweat and pain.

His hand reached up to mine that I hadn’t realised was guarding my deaf ear and he rubbed his thumb gently across the back of my hand. “You aren’t in any danger here darling. This isn’t about Earth, this is about you being reckless and risking your life. I’m not sending you back, alright? Once we’re done here you’re forgiven, just how it should be.”

I exhaled a breath I didn’t know I was holding, feeling somewhat calmed by his words and nodded my head, readying myself for the wildly unpleasant experience I was about to endure. “Ok.” My voice was small as I moved to his side, looking down at his lap that still seemed big even now as an adult. Slowly I lowered myself down until my stomach hit his thighs and I tried to balance myself, finding it difficult with the odd position. When I tried to reach the floor in front of me with my hands my feet didn’t reach the surface behind me and I struggled to get comfortable. Uncle Leonard wrapped an arm around my waist, lifting me to reposition across his lap so I was tilted forward, much more uncomfortable now that neither my hands nor my feet could really touch either side.

“Alright moonpie, you got anything to say before we begin?”

I stayed silent, embarrassed by the use of my childhood nickname as I shook my head no. There was a slight shift then as I felt him raise his right hand and bring it down swiftly, leaving me no time to brace myself for the surprising amount of sting that spread through my skin. I let out a little gasp, gripping his pant-leg tightly in my fist when another slap landed on top of the first and I sucked in air, startled by the feeling. This wasn’t anything like what I remembered and I didn’t even have time to adjust as a third landed, then a fourth, and my leg kicked up in protest. At the very least there couldn’t be much left, right? I forced my leg back down and he waited while I crossed them to keep from kicking. His hand came down again on a different spot but he concentrated on the same area as he did before until I kicked again, my hips lifting up in protest.

This time he pushed me down himself and I felt him move, spreading his legs further apart until I slipped over to lie on just his left thigh, my upper half supported by the couch. I pushed up with my hands, not liking the new position but found myself locked in place as my legs were firmly under his right in a strange hold. “Isn’t this enough?” I sounded desperate but something inside of me was saying things were about to get a lot more intense and I didn’t want any more.

“Oh we’re just getting started, you got a lot more comin’.” His hand came down hard on my lifted backside and I held in a shriek, trying to kick my trapped legs. He kept focusing on one spot and then moving on to another, creating an almost unbearable heat in such a way that I couldn't stand. It felt like a relief when he moved to another spot but then when he did it just built up again until I couldn’t handle it and he found a new patch of skin to attack.

“Uncleeee,” I pleaded with him, hoping to the gods he would stop if I sounded the way I did when I was a kid but I knew it was useless. I really messed up this time, enough that he thought I needed this as an adult and when the grumpy doctor made up his mind, nothing could change it.

“Don’t give me that, you know why you’re here young lady.” I squirmed as he landed a particularly scathing blow to my sit spot, my feet kicking in protest. He landed a few more to the same area, waiting until I was practically writhing to stop altogether. “I don’t care how old you are, you risk your life for anything and I promise you’ll find yourself right over my knee faster than you can blink.”

The words came out of my dumb mouth before I could even realised what I’d said, like some kind of masochistic virus had taken over my body and wanted to feel me suffer. “Aren’t I old enough to die?”

I felt him go rigid at my response and a long silence stretched between us, so much so that I almost wondered if the hearing aid he’d given me had glitched out. Finally I felt his hand, skin hot from punishing mine, rest on my thigh like he was preparing to do something. “You got a death wish kid?” His arm tightened around my waist and it was at that precise moment I knew, I had really fucked up.

“Wait, no no I-”

“Cuz let me tell you right now,” the feeling of cool air on my scathing backside was so startling I hardly heard the rest of what he said, “that ain’t gonna fly up here.” His hand came down so fast that before I could yelp I felt it again, then again, and I threw my hands back to block him. It stopped him in his tracks but I could hear the ice in his voice, the restrained anger and I feared being tossed aside once this was all over. “Move those hands right now or I’ll pin them to your back.”

I reached for my medbay gown, trying to pull it back down to cover myself but he grabbed my hands at the wrists before I could maneuver properly. “No, please-” once he had them pinned to my back he kept going, raining down sharp slaps on every square inch of my exposed skin- “I don’t want it bare!”

“Well maybe this will make you think twice next time you feel your life is meaningless.” I could feel the fire beginning to burn in my backside and tried to twist away, wishing I’d never landed myself in such a stupid heap of trouble in the first place. What a godawful idiot I am, and no amount of kicking and fighting would get me out now, this wasn’t Earth and I couldn’t just pay someone to help me override the system. This was here, this was now, and this really goddamn stung.

“I’m sorry!”

He slowed the onslaught of swats but didn’t stop, allowing me to at least think and answer while he spoke to me. “You want to tell me why?”

“For-for-” I stared at the floor, suddenly unsure of what I was apologising for. Whatever would make him stop spanking me? “I don’t know!”

“That’s what I thought.” He focused on my sit spots again and I let out a wail of pain, bending my knees sharply. “You don’t think. You’re the most reckless damn kid I ever met, you know that? You’re almost as bad the captain.”

“I’m not-not a kid,” I grit out, trying not to sound defensive.

He bit back a laugh, stopping for a moment to rub a gentle hand across the blazing skin. “Right, you turned 18 this year. Sorry I missed that one.” I didn’t say anything in response, instead biting my lip at the feeling of a brief reprieve from the harsh punishment. “So you wanna tell me how you got into this whole scrape in the first place or do I need to keep going?”

I groaned loudly without meaning to, tugging frantically at his hold on my hands with no success. This was going to be a long, painful evening and not one I would be getting out of in one piece.

“You can tug all you want darlin’, you ain’t going anywhere. You’re safe over my lap and we can do this all night if we have to.”

“Noo, please Uncle Leonard, I just- it’s- it’s complicated!”

“Try me.”

I groaned louder now, throwing my head down in defeat. “You wouldn’t get it!”

“Well I’m not gonna get it if you don’t tell me, so how about you try?”

“Just let me up! Haven’t you punished me enough already?”

He slapped my left side with a resounding thwack! that echoed through the small office and I lurched forward in surprise. “Now you listen here young lady, this ain’t just about punishment, I’m not laying down the law as a superior officer correcting a subordinate. I’m doing this because I care.” He landed another blow, lower than the one before and I tried to bury my head in the couch. “Because you’re my niece.” The blows came quicker now, in a more steady rhythm and my body tensed with dread. “And god dammit I will not stand by while you crash and burn.”

I tried to hold on, to keep it all inside but the fire kept burning and getting hotter and soon enough the wall began to crumble. Little gasps became groans, which turned into small cries, and ended in my pleading with him to stop. I bucked and writhed, wriggling my body this way and that to get away from the assaulting hand that caused so much pain but it was no use, it found it’s target each time and I couldn’t escape. “Uncle! Uncle I’m sorry, I’m sorry please stop, I learned my lesson, please-“ I felt tears begin to prick at my eyes, a sob hitching in my throat and I stopped, unwilling to let go or release in such a way.

“You wanna tell me what lesson that is?”

“Stop! Stop please, I’ll tell,” but he wouldn’t and I just couldn’t focus with the pain building in my posterior. Eventually I grew so frustrated after swallowing my tears and broken back half-sobs that I couldn’t take it anymore and released a small fit of rage. I saw no end in sight, no mercy, and it just wasn’t fair that I couldn’t have any control or say in the matter. “Ahh!” The anger caught in my throat while I twisted my body in his hold but he wouldn’t relent, not until the first sob finally broke through and my muscles clenched in a strain to hold it back.

“There’s nothing to be ashamed of for crying darlin’. Stop trying to hold it all in.”

My shoulders were so tense I could practically feel the hum of the mechanics in my left side, the low vibration it gave off as my muscles strained to contain my emotions. “It’s not fair.” My voice came out as more of a growl than a statement but it rang true nonetheless and I knew he could hear me.

“What part? The part where you almost got yourself killed on an away mission because you lied on your starfleet transcript?” He targeted my upper thighs and I grit my teeth in agony. “Or the part where you hid all of your cybernetic enhancements during medical exams with illegal scramblers, completely disregarding your own safety just because you wanted to get into the academy? Or how about-” he tipped me forward, positioning me so that he had better aim at my most sensitive skin- “the part where you lied to me and performed surgery, Nell, surgery on your own body without a care in the world about what it could do to yourself!”

That was it, my breaking point, and I let out a heart wrenching sob that I couldn’t believe actually came from my own throat. My chest shook with the pain of both emotion and heat, the guilt from it all building and releasing in a way I hadn’t felt before as I felt him release my hands from their entrapment. “So-sorry, I’m sorry-” I tried to apologise but my words wouldn’t form, they wouldn’t make sense and I found myself stumbling with the simplest sentence structure.

“I know kid, I know.”

What a failure I’d become, to let down even my favourite Uncle Leonard who always believed in me, who always thought I was the brightest and smartest girl, who had me over his knee even now at 18. “I’m sorry I’m such a-uh failure!” I covered my face with my hands and felt a sudden shift, a thwack! and inhaled sharply at the realisation that he had stopped at some point and I hadn’t even noticed.

“Now I don’t want to hear any more of that kind of talk, you hear me? You aren’t a failure, and I may not know all of what happened but I can sure as hell see you’ve had a tough go and I’m proud of you either way. We wouldn’t be here if I weren’t, you understand?” I nodded my head frantically, bending my legs in hope that he wouldn’t start up again as he began rubbing the sting out of my aching skin. “You’re probably gonna be feeling this for the next few days when you sit. And don’t even think of using one of your contraptions to heal yourself, I will spank you again Moonpie,” he warned with a hint of teasing.

I turned my head to look up at him, trying to gage if he was still angry with me or if I could get up and it was all over now. “I’m so sorry.” The tears were still rolling down my cheeks but I tried to wipe them away, swallowing the lump in my throat that made it hard to speak.

“Oh come here darlin’, I know you are.” He lifted me by the waist, turning me to sit on his lap the way we used to when I was a little girl and I’d been in trouble. It was such an odd sensation, being in the same position, the same situation but older and in space. Things weren’t the same up here and holy hell he hit a thousand times harder up here than he ever did on Earth. He put an arm around me, resting my head on his shoulder as we relaxed on the loveseat for a while to calm both our nerves. It had been exhausting for us both I think, to go back to that place where we both had to pick up roles we’d abandoned ages ago. “You know you’re going to have to tell me eventually.”

I swiped at my eyes, sniffling and leaning into the embrace as he ran a hand soothingly over my shoulder. The touch made me jump slightly as I didn’t like physical contact on my shoulder so I tried to slide off his lap, keeping my eyes downcast. “I wanna go to my quarters.”

“Not so fast missy, this ain’t over just yet.”

I looked at him in slight horror, halfway off his lap and with a slight urge to run at the suggestion of more but stayed still with anticipation.

“You really forget how we used to do this? Come here.” He opened his arms wide, pulling me in so suddenly that I almost didn’t comprehend the motion until I was wrapped fully in the embrace. A hug. He was right, I had forgotten this part, the end where I was forgiven and comforted and told I was good and alright. Except I wasn’t and things weren’t alright and everything was on fire (metaphorically speaking at least). Would he really forgive me for all my wrongdoings, the terrible things I’d been so ashamed of for so long that I’d had to do for survival?

At some point the term ‘illegal’ had stopped fazing me and it only now really hit, after finally having to deal with some repercussions for said illegal activity, that maybe I’d gone too far off the deep end to be saved.

Uncle’s hand came to rest on the back of my head reassuringly, his voice comforting to hear now that it wasn’t lecturing. “The slate is clean now, you hear me? I can’t imagine why in the hell you’d ever do something so dangerous and god help me if you ever take a risk like that again-“ he sighed, squeezing me a bit tighter. “I’m not gonna lose you, alright?”

I nodded my head in his shoulder, taking in the warmth and affection I’d been starved of for what felt like a lifetime. Maybe it really would be alright, if I were up here so many light years away, with him and all the adventures I could ever dream of. Then again I still had to face the captain and possible dismissal or a court martial but so long as I didn’t get sent back to Earth I really didn’t mind what in the hell they did with me. “Am I gonna get kicked out of Starfleet?”

He took a deep breath, pulling me away to look me in the eyes. “We’re on a five year mission darling, even if you are booted we’re not turning back just to throw you off the ship.”

“I didn’t mean for it to get this bad, I didn’t- really it wasn’t like I wanted-“ I huffed in frustration with nowhere to start and unsure of how to end. How could I even begin to explain the journey I’d been on, the things I’d done, seen, been through? Just to get here, to this one safe place where I knew I’d have 5 years of sanctuary away from the rocky terrain that had become an imprisonment of hell. I gave everything I had to be here and I’d almost ruined it all in one fell swoop just because of a small insignificant malfunction I hadn’t foreseen.

“I know. You've got a lot of talking to do if we’re going to get you out of this mess.”

I groaned, staring down at my cold feet and grabbing onto the edges of the med gown in hopes of making myself feel more modest. “Can I at least change first?”

A hint of a smile played on his lips as he turned me around, steering me towards the door, too fast to object. “How about I bring you a spare uniform if you’re a good patient for me?”

“That’s not-“

The door was open before I could finish and I found myself flushing at the realisation that people may have heard my not so quiet protestations earlier. “Keep moving,” he ordered, pushing me lightly forward. I stumbled a bit but did as he asked, trying to avoid any possible eye contact as we emerged from the hall and back into medbay. Briefly I wondered if I could just keep walking and go straight out the entrance but a firm hand on the base of my neck steering me last minute towards an exam bed proved my pondering wrong. If only. I stopped once we reached the bed, staring sharply at the possible containment and then at him.

“I’m not getting back in if I have to wear those restraints.”

His jaw tightened as he gave me a hard look, mentally switching over from Uncle Leonard to Dr. McCoy as he took a commanding stance. I’d seen it before enough times to spot the changes, the differences in the way he held himself and how annoying it was when he thought he knew best. “That’s not up for debate Ensein, we’re following protocol.”

I scowled at him, holding my ground as we stood locked in a staring contest. He knew my stubbornness and I knew his thickheaded god complex; still, neither of us were prepared to back down as we kept our eyes sharply fixed on the other. “I’m not going to run, there’s no need.”

“Good to know, we still have to use them. Till the captain gives the ok that you’re clear of any charges, the restraints stay.”

He took a step towards me and my hand went instinctively towards the knife on my hip, a subtle panic washing over at remembering all my clothes and belongings had been removed. We both stopped, staring at each other at the realisation of our situation. What would I even do if I’d had it, get in a knife-fight with a doctor, with my uncle? I felt a pain of guilt at knowing I’d had such a reaction towards someone I trust but didn’t know what to say. There was no way I was voluntarily getting into a bed to be strapped down but at the same time I felt bad and wanted to apologise.

“What, are you planning on fighting me? Because I’ll tell you right now, you’re not gonna get very far in that state. Those restraints are for your own damn good, so you don’t hurt yourself or anyone else for that matter.”

I took a half step back, looking at the bed and then back at him with a renewed sense of anxiety and stress. It wasn’t like I wanted to be difficult, just the idea of being unable to move with no power terrified me, yet at the same time I wanted to do what my uncle needed me to do. His job was hard enough and he didn’t need a difficult patient refusing to comply added onto the heap of responsibilities he already had to deal with. ‘ _Can’t I just wait without being tied down? I don’t like it, I can’t sign and it makes me panic, I’ll tell you what happened I just don’t want_ -‘

“Whoa, hey slow down.” Dr. McCoy held up his hand in a calming gesture, his expression softening from its earlier harshness. “I can’t read that fast.”

“What?”

“You’re signing too fast. Why don’t you take a seat and tell me.”

My hands moved with my voice, tension building alongside the stress in my shoulders. “I’m not getting in the bed if you’re just going to strap me down!”

“Ensign-“

“No!”

“Is this a bad time?” We both turned suddenly to face the voice invading our conversation, almost thankful for the interruption. I blanched at the sight of the ship captain, feeling immediately embarrassed by my outburst and wanted to find a rock to climb under and never come out.

“Not at all.” The traitorous doctor crossed his arms, a resolute look on his now calm face. “Ensign Miller was just voicing her objection to Regulation 337.”

“Right, officers under investigation are limited and restricted with their privileges while aboard. I don’t see what that has to do with anything here.”

“Well as she’s a danger to herself and others, under 337 it’s protocol to restrain patients who might hurt themselves. As you might imagine-.“

“That’s totally unnecessary and completely inhumane, and absolutely-”

“She’s against the idea.”

The handsome captain turned to me and I found it hard not to stare directly into his brilliant blue eyes as he spoke. “Ensign Miller. Do you think you can talk to us without hurting yourself?”

I nodded my head, forgetting for a moment to respond verbally. “Yes sir.”

“See? There, problem solved. You look stressed Bones, you should go to the holodeck.” The looks they exchanged were as different as night and day and I almost laughed at seeing the ridiculousness of it.

“I’m a little busy Captain.” He said with the most scathing title of respect- if you could call it that- I’d ever heard. Whatever was happening here, I was lost because there was some kind of backstory to this I was unaware of that had to explain whatever the hell was going on right now. The bickering continued as I stood there, watching like a silent audience to one of those black and white films I’d seen in my history classes back on Earth as a kid. The doctor wanted me to stay in medbay to rest and heal while the captain thought it best for me to continue a normal routine so it didn’t disrupt the order or things. They were arguing over rank now, a struggle for dominance. Doctors outrank captains when it comes to health but captains have final say when it comes to regulations and codes of conduct. An unstoppable force meets an immovable object. “Dammit Jim, I know her. She needs enforced bedrest or she’ll just run herself into the ground again.”

“Wait back up, what’s your connection with Ensign Miller?”

Uncle Leonard looked at me and I stared back at him, shifting my weight uncomfortably. This was it, the part where the truth had to come out and my fate would be decided. He looked back at the captain and I could tell his mind was made up for whatever he’d decided to do with me, whether it was sending me far away, turning me in, or even throwing me back to Earth. “Ensign Miller is my niece.”

**Author's Note:**

> I also wrote this instead of sleeping since that's how I do, so I apologise for any mistakes, I'll come back and try to correct any glaring errors. In the meantime, I want to end this with a link to a good song: Penelope Scott- American Healthcare ~ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0JF9Rnv-OYg


End file.
